Spilling My Guts...

Ok, you have to bear with me on this one. Usually, I am only a picture-posting blogger, but today, I need to ramble a bit. But I'll put pics in too in case the mood needs to be lightened a bit. :)

We are really asking for big prayers from our warriors this week. Tomorrrow morning, I go in to the Children's Hospital for an ultrasound and an MRI on Brooklyn. (I know I have to be perfectly still for an MRI, but how am I supposed to keep HER still?!?! No idea how that will work.) But anyways, this will all benefit the neurosurgeons that we will see on Wednesday. They will hopefully get a really good look at her and be able to tell to a better extent what her surgeries will entail. After the neurosurgeons, we will see the spina bifida clinic doctors, the NICU and nurses, and have an appt with a neonatologist all on Wed. So, it is a big week.

Of course, our prayer is that we go in and they find nothing. They look at our wonderfully made little girl and say, she has no issues that we find. Oh, how blessed that would be!!! We want there to be NO DOUBT that our amazing God just took this situation and eliminated the problems from her. But we also know that God is way bigger than we can even fathom, and that His plan for her may not be what we believe our hearts' desires to be. And we will praise Him wholeheartedly no matter what the answers to our prayers are!! We ask that you join us in this, for the next 5 weeks and beyond, but specifically for the next 3 days.

I'll be honest, I have been looking forward to these appts for 3 months now... to get more answers and see face to face the doctors who will care for B. But now, I am freaked out beyond measure. I think it is mainly because we will be getting a major dose of reality this week. Since B was diagnosed 3 months ago, it has been this nebulous concept that I've tried to educate myself about and wrap my mind around. But this week, I have a feeling it will hit closer to home because of these meetings, and sometimes I wonder that whole "can I really do this?" thing. I have no doubt whatsoever that God can heal Brookyln, and I pray and pray and pray that He will! But, He hasn't come to me and said He will. So, this is the road we take... to use all the resources He has given us to be as prepared as possible to be the best parents we can be. I pray God forgives my doubts and fears and strengthens my faith day after day... for a long time to come... because I feel so inadequate to be this kind of Mommy! So scared! How can I be the best Mommy if I am scared of it?!?! Anyways, this is the rollercoaster my heart is on, and I know I have rambled on, but I guess I just needed to get it out. SO... if any of that made sense... I just ask that you pray for David and me and all that we will face as Brooklyn's parents.

In the present, we ask for prayers for the appts this week, and for Brooklyn's doctors to be absolute geniuses!! Oh, and that I remember to ask all the questions we have come up with! For the future... well, I'll have more specifics I'm sure after Wed. But pray that she keeps growing and kicking right on schedule. Please pray for Reagan, that God gives her an extra dose of fabulous big-sisterhood... this is gonna rock her world to an extent. (Praise God for Reagan's wonderful school that she loves so much... she'll be there while we are at the hospitals.) Like I said, after Wed, I'll report back and give an update on what we've learned... and it'll be a doozy of a post I'm sure. :)

Ok, thanks for letting me spill my guts. As promised, here are some pics of Reagan's last week or so... cutie pie. :)

This is her "Cheese" face for the camera these days.

I wanted pumpkin patch pictures in this outfit, but she was home sick on Pumpkin Patch day at school with a fever. So, we settled for front porch pics. This is her "do you think I can lift this?" picture.
Too heavy. :)

She decorated her pumpkin at school... gotta love glitter.

Sweet girl!!!

I am a sucker for every time she puts on David's boots!!! She thinks she is so funny!
Little Saturday morning football-watching with Daddy. LOVE this. :)

Here is where they pretended to be asleep so I would quit taking pictures. I'm not that easily fooled...

On Sunday, we were invited to the Fall Festival o' Fun at SIL and BIL's church. It was a gorgeous afternoon, and fun was definitely had by all. Aunt Mary was sweet enough to help R paint more pumpkins.

Oh, what kid doesn't love a great bounce house?!?! She had a BALL!
But it got really hot and sweaty with all that bouncing, so we went WT with it and stripped her shirt off. And of course, took time out for sweet kisses for Daddy.

She made new friends in there.... she gravitates towards the older kids. It is so cute! And they were really great with her.

This face sums up her fun:

Showing off her skillz to Aunt Mary.
Taking a little time-out from bouncing for throwing the football with Uncle Turbo.

Someone had out their adorable little Lab puppies. This was R's first time to hold a puppy!!
He was wiggly, but she liked him for the few moments they had together.

And this is this morning at breakfast.... Sometimes when she wakes up, I swear she got extra beauty sleep. This was one of those days. Maybe only a Mommy can think that, what with this bed-head and all, but she is extra gorgeous today... and I love her bed head. Not that I am biased or anything!